


Flirting and Bilingualism 101

by parasolghost



Series: Haikyuu!! Rarepair Week [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: HQ Rarepair Week, M/M, day 2: language, the worst pick up lines ive ever heard who thinks of these
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3623454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parasolghost/pseuds/parasolghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo's roommate is having a friend over and, wow, Kuroo would absolutely love to get some of that. If only they could speak the same language...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting and Bilingualism 101

**Author's Note:**

> SCREECHES IN I MADE IT!! IT'S 9:30 PM HERE SO I MADE IT FOR DAY 2 NICE!!  
> So yeah some kuroyams for rarepair week!! Nothing really important to note other than the fact that italics means they're speaking in English!! otherwise we're good B)  
> I hope you guys like it!!

Kuroo was having a pretty good day.

He had two of his classes for the day cancelled and was enjoying a nice walk around the neighborhood. Along the way, he ran into a hotdog vendor he frequented who offered him a free hotdog (which he accepted gratefully). He also was surrounded by four cats while he was sitting on the bench and got to pet all of them for about an hour, before he continued his walk back to his apartment. The sun was shining brightly, the weather was great—hell, he _looked_ great. Everything was just, overall, pretty good.

Kuroo whistled to himself as he skipped up the stairs to his apartment, greeting some of his neighbors with a grin and a kind word. He continued down his floor’s walkway towards his door and, as he turned the corner towards his apartment, he saw a boy standing in front of his doorway, fidgeting the hem of a large sweater. He had a slender figure and dark hair with a rather adorable cowlick sticking right up from the top of his head. Although, with a bit of observation, Kuroo noticed that the boy wasn’t exactly short, but the way he held himself made him seem small as he gazed unsurely at the Kuroo’s apartment door.

In short, this boy was _very_ cute and Kuroo was having the most _wonderful_ day.

Kuroo ran a hand through his bed head, which only hopped right back into its messy stance, and walked towards the boy in what he hoped was a cool and casual way. With an odd confidence that he had gained from his good mood, Kuroo put on his signature charming smirk.

“Hey,” Kuroo said. The boy looked up at him in wide-eyed surprise as Kuroo continued. “Can I help you with something?”

The boy’s cheeks flushed a bright red tint that was so adorable Kuroo could feel his cool façade getting ready to melt away at a moment’s notice. Honestly, this guy was just so cute with his doe-eyed look and full-face blush and—holy shit, are those _freckles?_

The boy’s lips parted and Kuroo braced himself for an adorable voice that could only come from such an adorable human being and was not disappointed (Kuroo almost closed his eyes in sheer bliss). However, instead of a cute explanation, the boy stammered out something that Kuroo could not understand.

Kuroo blinked for a second in his confusion, his smile wiped off of his face. Was that English he was speaking? Damn, he knew he should have paid attention to those English classes in high school.

Kuroo opened his mouth in order to attempt to form a response, but his apartment door swung open right at that moment, hitting him square in the nose.

“Ow, shit!” Kuroo swore. “Tsukki, what the hell?”

Kuroo’s tall blond roommate, Tsukishima, peeks out from behind the door, giving him a deadpanned look. “Oh I didn’t see you there—sorry,” Tsukishima said in a tone that indicated that he was not sorry in the least. Tsukishima turned to the cute freckled boy and said some words in English when realization dawned on Kuroo.

He had totally forgotten that Tsukishima had mentioned a friend of his from America was staying. That explained quite a few things.

“Hey, Tsukki, introduce me to your cute friend,” Kuroo said, nudging him with his elbow and trying to shoot the freckled boy a charming smile, despite the fact that he was still rubbing his nose.

Tsukishima scoffed. “What? Why would I—you can just introduce your—“ Tsukishima paused when the boy reached out to tug at his sleeve. Kuroo thought he would burn because of how cute the gesture was.

Tsukishima, however, raised an eyebrow and said some words in English to the other boy. They conversed for a little while and all Kuroo could really pick up were simple insults like “ _you loser_ ,” because he and Bokuto had spent the day insulting each other in other languages a while ago.

“Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima turned to him, rolling his eyes, “this is Yamaguchi Tadashi, he’s visiting from America. Please, for the love of god, don’t flirt with him.”

“Look, your friend is really cute and I’m interested—I make no promises,” Kuroo retorted with a smirk before turning to Yamaguchi. “ _It is nice to meet you_ ,” Kuroo said in the best English he could muster.

Yamaguchi chuckled and smiled brightly at Kuroo. “Please take care of me,” he said with the slightest bit of an American accent. Kuroo swore at that moment that cupid had pierced his poor heart with his most powerful arrow. If Kuroo was about to die, this was truly how he wanted to go.

In his daze, he hadn’t even noticed Yamaguchi had stepped into the apartment and Tsukishima had closed the door, leaving Kuroo looking absolutely starstruck on their doorstep.

* * *

“Bokuto, I think I’m in love,” Kuroo said on the phone as he lay on his bed, gazing at his ceiling with a glossy look.

“Bro, you’ve known him for a whole thirty minutes,” Bokuto replied.

“Dude, but he’s so cute,” Kuroo said dragging his hand down his face.

“He can’t be _that_ cute—“

“He has freckles.”

“Oh, _shit_ ,” Bokuto whistled. “Get it.”

“I can’t ‘get it’—we don’t even speak the same language,” Kuroo grumbled.

Kuroo frowned as Bokuto chuckled mischievously. “See, that’s why you have _me_ here!”

“Bokuto, you failed your high school English class,” Kuroo deadpanned.

“Okay, yes, but I have something even better than actual knowledge of the English language,” Bokuto continued. “ _I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long.”_

Kuroo sat up, squinting at nothing in particular. Kuroo could barely understand English as it was, but Bokuto’s pronunciation made it even worse. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Me neither, but it’s an American pick-up line apparently.”

“I’m not using American pick-up lines—what if they’re saying something gross?” Kuroo said.

“Dude, they’re probably fine,” Bokuto reassured him. “Would I ever lead you astray?”

“Probably.”

“Okay, I mean, yeah, but what else are you gonna do?” Bokuto scoffed. “Charm him with your perfect English.”

Kuroo opened his mouth to retort, but found himself at a loss for words. Bokuto was right, after all, and really, what other chance did Kuroo have? He wasn’t about to learn fluent English in the span of a week. Kuroo sat up straight, crossing his legs. “Alright, lay ‘em on me,” he relented, standing up to close his bedroom door.

“Perfect,” Bokuto said. “Now repeat after me: ‘ _I’m studying to be a taxidermist. Can I practice stuffing your ass?’”_

* * *

When Kuroo finally left his bedroom with some pick-up lines he did not understand engrained in his brain, he saw Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sitting on the couch, watching some sort of American movie about dinosaurs. Yamaguchi’s legs were curled up into his chest and his head nodded up and down and his eyelids drooped as if he were getting sleepy. It was absolutely adorable and Kuroo was starting to have second thoughts.

“Hey, Kuroo-san, I’m going to the store to buy some snacks, do you want anything?” Tsukishima asked as he got up from his spot on the couch just as Kuroo was about to go back to hiding in his room.

“No, I’m good,” Kuroo said.

“Alright,” Tsukishima said. He spoke to Yamaguchi for a bit, and suddenly smirked as Yamaguchi turned bright red and stammered a quick response in English. Tsukishima only laughed in reply as he stepped out the door, leaving Kuroo and Yamaguchi in the apartment by themselves.

_Here goes nothing, Tetsurou,_ Kuroo thought to himself, running a hand through his hair. _You got this._

Kuroo put on his most charming smile and slid into the spot on the couch next to Yamaguchi, totally ready to get his flirting game on, when Yamaguchi turned to him with his head tilted curiously.

_Fuck. Okay, I don’t think I got this._

“S-so, Yamaguchi,” Kuroo stammered. “Okay, uh, _I’m studying to be a taxidermist. Can I practice stuffing your ass?”_

Kuroo almost sighed in relief. His pronunciation wasn’t too bad, probably. This was fine, now he just had to wait for—

Oh no.

Kuroo felt himself start to worry as Yamaguchi’s eyes widened in what looked to him like horror. Okay, so… no…

“Wait, I mean, uh,” Kuroo floundered for another response. “ _Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood._ ”

Kuroo wasn’t really sure if Yamaguchi could turn any redder, but there he was, with a full face blush that Kuroo would have appreciated the hell out of if he wasn’t so distraught. His panic only worsened when Yamaguchi began to scoot away from him.

“No wait!” Kuroo said. He groaned burying his face in his hands. “Look, okay you’re just _really_ cute and I’ve probably said something totally gross, but I just really want to ask you out because I want to get to know you and—okay, where is Tsukki I need him to—“

“Oh, well in that case…”

Kuroo stopped and his head jerked up so quickly that his hair flopped forward from the inertia of his movement. His eyes were wide as he watched Yamaguchi rub his arm, his freckled cheeks still dusted pink.

“I-I’d love to go out with you, actually,” Yamaguchi said in perfect Japanese, no hint of an accent betraying his voice.

Kuroo’s jaw dropped. “You… can speak Japanese?”

“Yeah, fluently,” Yamaguchi explained. “I actually only moved to America two years ago when I started college.”

“Then, why did you…”

“Um, I just got kind of flustered when you confronted me and my knee-jerk reaction was to pretend I didn’t know Japanese,” Yamaguchi chuckled nervously. “I mean, plus it was kind of nice to hear you saying all of those things about me as if I couldn’t understand them.”

Kuroo felt heat rise to his cheeks. “Uh, did you really hear everything?”

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop!” Yamaguchi said quickly. “You were just really loud on the phone.”

Kuroo buried his face in his hands again. “Oh my god.”

“Um, if it makes you feel any better,” Yamaguchi began again, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I told Tsukki that I thought you were hot earlier.”

Kuroo looked up at Yamaguchi. “You think I’m hot?”

Yamaguchi’s face flushed again and he looked away sheepishly. “Um. I, uh—yeah,” he said quietly. At that very moment one thousand angels chorused in Kuroo’s head.

“So, Tsukki’s got a huge paper he has to work on tomorrow night,” Kuroo began. “Maybe I could show you around?”

Yamaguchi gave him a shy smile. “I’d like that a lot.”


End file.
